dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
