The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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