my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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