from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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