My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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