bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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