ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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