Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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