3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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