Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
