I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
