I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
