Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
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