He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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