erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
