rhymes with "ouble enetration"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
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