Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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