How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
