garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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