Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
