Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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