i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
this is an emotional support booty call
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
