I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
