You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
