You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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