I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
