y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
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I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
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It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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