my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
