chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
