I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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