So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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