I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
What drink are we having for lunch?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
