i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
