I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
