idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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