Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
