Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My liver just had a heart attack.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I think your dad took our porno
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
