Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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