Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
