She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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