Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
