I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
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I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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