He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
