HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
she peed on how many people?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
