we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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