I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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