maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
