she smelled like a LAN party
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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