Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
