i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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