the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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