I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
