remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
