Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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