Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
