he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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