It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
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I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
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I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
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