You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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