I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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