Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize