no, he came in my armpit
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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