oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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