how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
