After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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