For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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