DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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