Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
